Crazy Making: Psychological abuse and mental illness

Crazy Making, sometimes called the Gaslight Technique are ways an abuser can cause serious psychological damage in their victim. Verbal abuse often follows a pattern of belittling, demoralizing, or confusing statements that often leave the victim with a total feeling of worthlessness and confusion. "The only reason anyone likes you is because you're with me." This "they" reference implies other people do not like you, something you may regard as new and true information. "Your writing is shit and I'm the only one who loves you enough to tell you that," instills the sense that others are misleading or lying to you. After all, doesn't someone you are married to know you the best and have your best interest at heart?

The technique may go so far as to make you question your own eyes and ears. "You didn't see me do that; I never did that; I never said that" - any denial of what is true can lead to a sense that you are going crazy, actually losing your mind. Further, the abuser may try to damage your reputation, telling others you are on drugs, not a heterosexual, promiscuous, lazy, crazy, stupid and on and on.

The end result, if you don't leave, can be physical violence. This technique is most effective in relationships where the victim is isolated, with few friends or contacts in the outside world. Housewives are the easiest to victimize as is anyone who is very dependent on the abuser's love or financial support.

Although we know mental illness is a chemical disorder, it is psycho-social events that trigger it. Someone with a predisposition to mental illness is very likely to have that tendency flare into full blown illness after exposure to abuse. It is even more confusing when the perpetrator has a good reputation among others. The abused is likely not believed or dismissed if they say anything to anyone. To break down in tears, or be afraid can be viewed by others as crazy before the real "crazy" ever begins.

If you are a victim of a relationship like this get out fast. Money or social standing are nothing compared to your own mental health.