Metaphysics or Psychosis: Spritual experiences may not be a symptom of your illness

This is a very advanced post and does not pertain to very many people who have bipolar disorder. So, unless something very strange has happened to you that doesn't pertain to your illness or any kind of psychology, skip this one.

In the book Men Who Hate Women and The Women Who Love Them, a very brief and unexplainable consept is presented. After many years of giving without expectation of return for effort - after years of trying to understand and forgive without recipricity, "Something metaphysical happens." I had such an experience myself. I will not share it here becuase it is a very private matter I have not shared with almost anyone. However, there were witneses to the event, and the changes in me that happened after that. I was not the same person with the old capabilities I once had. I was changed at the cellular level. One psychiatrist defined it as "a shaman" experience. I had two such experiences. I had to be satisfied with that because there was no other explanation. I did not hallucinate, or hear voices, but something happend. This was in no way a "religious" experience. I am not "special" in any way whatsoever. It is just what happened.

It was a spiritual experience, but I didn't know that at the time and decided I was going crazy. I had not actually done that yet. I was not yet psychotic, though it happened soon after that. (See Hitchhiking Adventure) If anything happens to you similarly, consider yourself to be fortunate. You may not get an explanation from anyone for years afterward, but do not suppose it is the same thing as being psychotic. Your ego, your sense of who you are, will be completely destroyed, and a new sense of self will develop over time. If you can understand the information provided in the link above, it will help. I cannot find anything more simple and as explanation and I apologize for that. There is nothing I can do about it. The point of this post is, not everything strange that happens to you is always psychosis, you will not become delutional, or irrational (though others may percieve you to be if you talk about it to anyone who is not psychiatrist, and not all of them will know what happened).

I only write this for the very few this will happen to by way of sympathy, understanding and possibly explanation.