Who You Really Are: Brilliant sanity and silly putty

The fundamental principle of Contemplative Principle (see link) is that there is in all of us a "brilliant" sanity. This brilliance comes from knowing,or learning what's what about you and the world you live in. It has nothing to do with the common sense of ego - an inflated idea of who you are and your effect on the world. It does have something to do with a rock solid sense of who you are. That can keep you intact when no one else knows.

The development expert Lecke, developed a theory he calls the "silly putty theory." The principle of that is, no matter how it is stenched by experience or true knowledge, most people will do anything to get their sense of self back to where it was at it's inception.

Children who are constantly told they are "special" without reason for that, often develop egocentric personalities. They assume every thing they do is worthy of praise by right of their "specialness." Praise should only be offered based on real life accomplishment, not as a false identity.

If you have fallen victim to this kind of upbringing, or acquired it on the way, you will have to be brutally honest with yourself and others, take responsibility for your mistakes and own them. Sometimes our mistakes are all we really own. If you find yourself in that position, try to rectify yourself. Be different from who you have been in the past and remember "it's never over until it's over."

Repect "no" for an answer. Don't foist yourself and your fantasies about who you are on other people. This will involve some disillusionment about yourself, but that is good for you. There is no sense in walking around all deluded about yourself.

Don't rely on other people's opinion of who you are and what you do. Hardly anything is so undependable. If you make a mistake, they will forget everything you have ever been in the past. They will discount your future. People only see what they want to see. They can see nothing else.

Don't try to justify yourself to unwarranted critics. Some people make themselves feel important by belittling others. Let them have at it. When people criticize you and judge you, they are telling more about themselves than they are about you. Listen to them. You will discover soon who is your friend and who is your enemy.

If you never have an enemy, you are missing out on one of the best things in life. Enemies only make you stronger. They should be avoided however for their sake as well as your own. You're not doing anybody any favors if you treat them like friends knowing full well they aren't. Don't be a people pleaser. No everyone has to like you for you to be a worthwhile person. If everybody likes you, you are probably following the crowd (a very bad practice).

My father used to say, "If everyone agrees with you, you are probably wrong." Most things require a healthy debate and an airing of differences. Always know people have a right to their own opinions and you should leave them to it. Don't try to get approval where you're not going to get any ever. Approval is also something you can do without.

Don't ask anyone for permission to do what you think is right in your life. Don't let anyone else tell you what to do unless they are right about something. Be open to good advice and reject back advice immediately. There are lots of stupid people running around offering unsolicited advice. (I'm only offering mine here because you're still reading. You can take it or leave it.) By the same token, don't be a giver of advice. You don't want to be responsible for other people's mistakes.

Be aware of yourself, your surroundings and other people. There is such a thing as spiritual warriors. Be willing to go to war for what you believe.